Posted: January 9, 2012 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
One morning I logged on to Facebook and there were five posts I made that I did not make. Apparently I was letting Andrea Scrivener, Ali Zumpano and Alex Peri know that I received a free iPad 2 and that they ought to click on this link to do the same. I even told Julia L. Robins that I couldn’t believe how drunk she got last night (but that I had taken photos).
This is a virus infecting my account, a virus that impersonates its user. It has them commenting on every distant interaction happening elsewhere on Facebook, no matter our relation. It knows what we want, offering sex videos, drunk photos and free iPad 2’s. An inside joke is interrupted by my excited suggestion to check out an old classmate’s porno.
Even my best friend clicked on the link for those alleged photos I took of drunken Julia Robins.
She wrote: ‘Come on, an url that starts with facebook.apps?’
I had to do something about it.
‘Alina,’ I write, ‘Alina, I’ve been hacked. Disregard those messages about Julia getting drunk, I don’t care about that! And I promised Ali Zumpano and Alex Cohen a free iPad 2- and I have no idea where to get one.’
I wrote this in such a state that I may have come off unhinged.
Alina didn’t respond for a while and then she wrote:
‘Lol, this is still the virus isn’t it?’
‘No no no dude its me.’
‘What if you’re a computer designed to illicit my sympathy?’
‘You’re a cunt. Your grandmother should be raped. Progeria.’
‘I don’t know, some viruses are pretty sophisticated…’
‘ALINA!!!’
I think she believed me, but it still seemed the whole time afterwards she was reluctant to tell me anything personal.
To this day, the virus has neither been caught nor stopped.
It still promises lewd photographs to strangers.
It still offers luxurious gadgets to my bitterest enemies.
I wish I could stop it. But there’s something exciting about watching myself destroy every relationship I’ve ever made.
Posted: January 9, 2012 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
none of you
are invited to
the party in my head
I’ll open all the presents
and say thank you to myself
later on I’ll drink too much
I’ll grab my own ass
and wake up in the morning
wishing I was dead
Posted: January 9, 2012 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
oh my god I
signed up for three
web based coupon subscriptions
while under the influence of
valium and a sense of inadeqaucy
and now I will flourish
surrounded by discount cleaning supplies
and shredded cheese
Posted: January 8, 2012 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
today is an exciting day
A Knight’s Tale is on TV
I signed up for coupon subscriptions
and im wearing my best
‘I care about life’
shirt, because today
is an exciting day
it’s unmemorable yet
pleasant
like complimentary breadsticks
Posted: December 29, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
I sent my dad an email
it was heartfelt but direct
apologizing for not attending his christmas dinner
insistent on patching things up for the holidays
and he sent me back
a bank statement
asking how much more money I needed
it made me think at least
there is a poem to be made from this
Posted: December 29, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
can it really be that
the malice of others
is mostly caused by
a turtleneck
and a push-up bra?
Posted: December 29, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
everytime I grapple
with my jewish faith
I think of the ‘just-for-laughs’ festival in montreal
and I thank them all
Posted: December 29, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
who the hell
viewed my blog
was it you
mom
who checks an
ill-updated
tiny
poetry blog
when everyone else
does not
it was you mom wasn’t it
Posted: December 22, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
I never call my grandmothers
both my grandfathers are dead
and though aunt mila uses Skype
I ignore her too
(and she has cancer)
but sometimes I will look
up my hometown on Wikipedia
and hope my relatives out there
can tell they’re in my search bar
Posted: December 22, 2011 | Author: KinoDrome | Filed under: Uncategorized |
IT'S BETTER THAN LAUNDRY 